Episodes
Monday Feb 21, 2022
Monday Feb 21, 2022
A NOTE FROM JASON:
Hello again, this is Jason Brand, the host of the Human Nurture Podcast. I'm a couples therapist in Berkeley, California and as you know, in this season, we've been exploring the “how to” of couples therapy.
This episode is a little bit of a departure from the usual format. Editing my own interviews always comes along with some discomfort. After 30 some-odd episodes, I've gotten used to some of that discomfort, the discomfort of listening to myself and imagining how you might be hearing it. But as I edited the two interviews I recorded with John Guy, I noticed a different kind of discomfort and it was clearly because we were discussing race.
I tried putting this discomfort into words with colleagues, however, I felt like something was missing in the conversation. With my colleagues of color, I felt like I was asking something of them that they couldn't really give to me, a kind of seal of approval that I was doing a good job. And with my white colleagues, I felt like the conversation kind of fell apart and just came back to this well-worn idea of “yeah, talking about race is challenging.”
None of this is a comment about my colleagues. I see it 100% is my own need to do some thinking and to open up some locked areas inside myself.
So I was settling into the idea that it was best just to leave this, that I'd take it up on my own, but not included as part of the podcast and that's when an article arrived from Inga Gentile. (You will remember Inga from a couple episodes back, please check out that episode, it's wonderful.)
The 2021 article entitled, “The White Man in the Room: Finding My Position as a White Therapist” was published by the British Journal of Psychotherapy and is written by Daniel Weir. It gave me a way to move forward and express some of the things that I was thinking about and wanted to bring to the podcast.
The article helped me to see that my discomfort was most pronounced in the brief moments when I had to define my own racial identity as a white man. I can't say that I even noticed this discomfort in the interviews with John, I only saw it when I had to create something coherent in the editing process and only then it was in these brief flashes that I caught of myself.
The article gave me some different tools for thinking about why it might be hard to see my own identity. It also makes some great links to psychoanalytic ideas and provides some perspectives that I found immediately useful.
So who is Daniel Weir? He's in private practice in Southwest London, this paper was written as part of his qualifying to become a psychoanalytic psychotherapist in 2020. I'm excited to have him on the show. He also said that you can email him directly if you want to read his paper.
His email is contact@daniel-weir.com.
Monday Feb 07, 2022
Monday Feb 07, 2022
A NOTE FROM JASON:
Hi again. Welcome back. If you've come here for an interview between an actual couple and an actual couples therapist and you're asking yourself the question, “How does a couples therapist learn to do that?” Well, you're in the right place.
I’m Jason Brand, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Berkeley and a PACT Level Three therapist. This is Human Nurture.
A couple of sentences to set the stage: Ron and Chakaheir, they've been married 33 years and they came in because they have drifted apart. By this third interview, they've made real progress by articulating some of the lonely feelings and as you will hear in this episode, they're starting to find each other again.
We've got two more episodes in the Ron and Chakahier series and then we move on to the next couple but let's not get ahead of things. It was such a pleasure getting to know Ron and Chakaheir and being allowed such an intimate view into their lives.
I'd love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to reach out to me at jason@jasonbrand.com.
Monday Jan 24, 2022
Ron and Chakahier: Second Consultation with John Guy, MA, LMHC
Monday Jan 24, 2022
Monday Jan 24, 2022
A NOTE FROM JASON:
Hi there. Welcome to the Human Nurture Podcast. I'm Jason Brand, a couples therapist and your host. This season we're interviewing couples and getting consultation from my fellow PACT therapists.
The podcast gives you an insider's view into how a couples therapist learns to do their job. In this episode, I get another opportunity to sit down with my colleague, John Guy, to discuss the Ron and Chakahier episodes.
John Guy, a couples therapist from Seattle, has a background in mindfulness and PACT. He's very helpful in providing consultation about how to identify and think about the ways nationality, religion, gender, race, class, and sexual orientation may add layers of challenge to life inside and outside of therapy.
In that first interview, I invited him to discuss the question, “How does a white couples therapist from Berkeley think about issues of race and culture with a black couple from Alabama?” I'm inviting him back to continue that discussion and because I love the way John positions himself as a therapist. He manages to be excited, serious, relaxed, authoritative, and accessible all at once. I've very much enjoyed both interviews with John and I'm excited to share this one with you. So what are we waiting for? Let's go.
Monday Jan 10, 2022
Monday Jan 10, 2022
A NOTE FROM JASON:
Hi there. Time to get going on another leg of this season-long journey into “How does a couples therapist learn to do that?” I'm Jason Brand, this podcast is called Human Nurture and in this episode, I've got another wonderful PACT therapist along for the ride. My colleague Inga Gentile joins us from Oslo, Norway. Inga is a licensed MFT and a Licensed Clinical Psychologist. She's an original PACT faculty member and she's been studying with Stan Tatkin since the days of the original Calabasas study group.
Inga joins me to think about the second couple of the season, Ron and Chakahier. If you don't know, here you go… Married 33 years, their presenting challenge was that they drifted apart. In the first and second interviews, they ventured into this drift and found so much for us to discuss.
Inga and I start off talking about the mismanagement of Thirds and work our way towards a beautiful idea about how the drift has created a sense of timelessness between Ron and Chakahier and this means that at any moment, they can find each other again.
Each consultant has given me a way of holding the PACT frame and I love Inga’s frame. She describes how close proximity triggers psychobiological reflexes, and this gives the information we need to do “Both/And”, showing what is between the couple and seeing what is possible for the couple. I'm getting excited thinking about my consultation with Inga, but enough telling, you can simply click play on the interview.
Monday Dec 27, 2021
Monday Dec 27, 2021
A NOTE FROM JASON:
Hi there, I'm Jason Brand, I'm a couples therapist out of Berkeley, California and this is the Human Nurture Podcast. Going to keep this intro brief to get you quickly to the second half of the Ron and Chakaheir episode. If you're just jumping in now, please go back an episode and check the first half.
Going to pick this up at that place where we left off last time, the couple was describing how they, "shut it down" and "withdraw". Thanks so much for tuning-in.
ABOUT SEASON 2 of HUMAN NURTURE:
Hosted by Jason Brand, LCSW a practicing couples therapist in Berkeley, California.
In Season 2 of Human Nurture we will cover PACT in Training. PACT stands for a Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy and has a reputation for effectively helping the most challenging situations that come up between couples.
This season, we will answer the question, "How does a couples therapist learn to help with THAT?!?"
"THAT?!?" could be any challenge that a couple brings into counseling-- from infidelity, to arguments about money, to processing past trauma, to decisions about the health and well being of a child.
This season gives an insider's view to the world of couples therapy through interviews with actual couples and consultation interviews with other expert PACT therapists. If you are a couples therapist looking to sharpen your skills, or if you are just curious about how couples therapists learn to do their job, tune into this season of Human Nurture.
Monday Dec 13, 2021
Monday Dec 13, 2021
A NOTE FROM JASON:
This is Human Nurture. I'm Jason brand, a psychotherapist in Berkeley, and the podcast covers the head-scratching question of how does a couples therapist learns to do that?
A few episodes back, you met Ron and Chakahier. They're out of the Southern part of the United States and they've established separate domains inside their home. Ron's home-life happens inside the den while Chakahier's takes place in the bedroom. In that first interview, they described how two people, that desire connection and are just down the hallway from each other can struggle to come together without walking on eggshells and creating hurt feelings.
So today, what you're going to hear is the first half of my follow-up interview with Ron and Chakahier. You get a real sense that between interviews they worked hard to find each other. and in this interview, you really can feel into the ebb and flow of them daring to be more vulnerable with their feelings, and then pulling back into fears and frustrations (totally a natural part of the process).
One note: In the interview, I'm in my office in Berkeley and they're in a hotel room in Cincinnati. They are there for a funeral. You'll hear various things going on as they navigate family stuff- family business and family needs. so we make room for that and then come back to the work.
I think that's all you need for today. Thank you for listening and away we go.
Monday Nov 29, 2021
Ron and Chakahier: Producer Interview2 with Margaret Martin, LCSW, SEP
Monday Nov 29, 2021
Monday Nov 29, 2021
A NOTE FROM JASON:
Hi there. Ready to get prepped for another clinical interview with Ron and Chakaher? Well, this is the place.
What you're about to hear is a conversation with my producer, Margaret Martin. You will recognize Margaret from a couple of episodes back, she's a wonderful PACT 3 therapists out of Austin, Texas,
In this episode, Margaret helps me to get ready for my follow-up interview with Ron and Chakahier. They are a couple out of Alabama. They have been married 33 years and have vibrant lives, however, inside their home they've drifted apart.
Margaret's going to me set to sit with the natural vicissitudes of a couple who has drifted apart by helping them be in the room together as they navigate being close and then drifting apart.
Margaret does a great job of sparking curiosity inside of me. I'm going to then turn around, in the coming up episode, and spark curiosity inside of Ron and Chakahier. Thank you so much for tuning-in. JB
ABOUT SEASON 2 of HUMAN NURTURE:
Hosted by Jason Brand, LCSW a practicing couples therapist in Berkeley, California.
In Season 2 of Human Nurture we will cover PACT in Training. PACT stands for a Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy and has a reputation for effectively helping the most challenging situations that come up between couples.
This season, we will answer the question, "How does a couples therapist learn to help with THAT?!?"
"THAT?!?" could be any challenge that a couple brings into counseling-- from infidelity, to arguments about money, to processing past trauma, to decisions about the health and well being of a child.
This season gives an insider's view to the world of couples therapy through interviews with actual couples and consultation interviews with other expert PACT therapists. If you are a couples therapist looking to sharpen your skills, or if you are just curious about how couples therapists learn to do their job, tune into this season of Human Nurture.
Monday Nov 15, 2021
Ron and Chakahier: Consultation with John Guy, MA, LMHC
Monday Nov 15, 2021
Monday Nov 15, 2021
A NOTE FROM JASON:
Hi again. In this episode I’ve got my colleague, John Guy along with me to reflect on the Ron and Chakahier initial couple clinical interview. John hails out of Seattle and he has a private practice seeing couples, a background in facilitating groups focused on race and gender and is a practicing Buddhist.
I called John because I was looking for someone who is both a PACT trained therapist and could help me to think about issues of race and gender in couples therapy. John delivers on both of these fronts and made a number of comments in this interview that are gems of perspective on couples and just being a good human being. Comments that keep popping into my mind as I go about my days since we spoke . So take a listen and let me know what you think, jason@jasonbrand.com
ABOUT SEASON 2 of HUMAN NURTURE:
Hosted by Jason Brand, LCSW a practicing couples therapist in Berkeley, California.
In Season 2 of Human Nurture we will cover PACT in Training. PACT stands for a Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy and has a reputation for effectively helping the most challenging situations that come up between couples.
This season, we will answer the question, "How does a couples therapist learn to help with THAT?!?"
"THAT?!?" could be any challenge that a couple brings into counseling-- from infidelity, to arguments about money, to processing past trauma, to decisions about the health and well being of a child.
This season gives an insider's view to the world of couples therapy through interviews with actual couples and consultation interviews with other expert PACT therapists. If you are a couples therapist looking to sharpen your skills, or if you are just curious about how couples therapists learn to do their job, tune into this season of Human Nurture.
Monday Nov 01, 2021
Monday Nov 01, 2021
A NOTE FROM JASON:
I'm excited to introduce to you our second couple of the season, Ron and Chakahier. I suggest that you go back an episode and listen to the 10 minute introduction that I did with my producer, Margaret Martin, to get situated for this interview.
This is the first of three interviews that I did with Ron and Chakahier and of course there will be a bunch of expert PACT consultant interviews along the way.
I'd love to hear from you! You can let me know what you think - jason@jasonbrand.com. Thanks for listening, JB
ABOUT SEASON 2 of HUMAN NURTURE:
Hosted by Jason Brand, LCSW a practicing couples therapist in Berkeley, California.
In Season 2 of Human Nurture we will cover PACT in Training. PACT stands for a Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy and has a reputation for effectively helping the most challenging situations that come up between couples.
This season, we will answer the question, "How does a couples therapist learn to help with THAT?!?"
"THAT?!?" could be any challenge that a couple brings into counseling-- from infidelity, to arguments about money, to processing past trauma, to decisions about the health and well being of a child.
This season gives an insider's view to the world of couples therapy through interviews with actual couples and consultation interviews with other expert PACT therapists. If you are a couples therapist looking to sharpen your skills, or if you are just curious about how couples therapists learn to do their job, tune into this season of Human Nurture.
Monday Oct 18, 2021
Ron and Chakahier: Producer Introduction with Margaret Martin, LCSW, SEP
Monday Oct 18, 2021
Monday Oct 18, 2021
A NOTE FROM JASON:
Hello and welcome to our second couple deep dive of the season!
This season we are asking the question-- How does a couples therapist learn to do that?!?
To introduce the second couple of the season, my producer for this leg of the journey Margaret Martin joins me. Margaret is out of Austin Texas and she’s a level 3 PACT therapist. She's also well versed in ISTDP, EMDR and SE. Don’t let the alphabet soup of modalities confuse you, she’s down to earth, she has a common sense approach and she gives you a genuine feel of someone who loves her job and the craft of psychotherapy.
We thought it would be good to give you an overview, a kind “what to listen for” in the upcoming Ron and Chakahier first clinical interview. The question that we get you set for is “How does a couples therapist learn to help a couple that has drifted apart?”
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